I would write you a sensible description of my uneventful life, but I'm too short to reach that level of intellect. One can only do with what one is given, so here's a plethora of bull excrementum from the septic tank that is my brain. May I advise you to please brace yourself.

For the sake of simplicity and plainness, I am boring. In the highly unlikely and extremely rare event that you find interest in me or anything of relevance to my being, I will have to politely ask you to reevaluate your life. Just kidding. Partially.

At this point, perhaps I have half-scared you away — something that I will completely disregard as I, instead, proceed to shamelessly redirect you to my Ask Box through which we shall forge a new acquaintance. Go on. Unlike the real life version of me, my online alter ego actually does respond to social interaction.